I Didn't Need Spiritual Direction—But Now I Don't Want To Lead Without It

I didn’t need Spiritual Direction. 

I was a team leader in the midst of a thriving community. I was well-supported by mentors, leaders, and friends. Family and church members prayed for me often—I knew I wasn't alone. 

But also… I was in the middle of one of the hardest months I’d experienced in leadership. 

We’d just dealt with the transition of multiple team members. Then my co-leader had to travel—for a family funeral. Then two more coworkers did the same. Then I had the worst cough I’d had in my life.

I knew it was short term. I knew I could push through. But I was handling the responsibilities of five people by myself.

The worst part? I still thought I could do it by myself. 

That month, by a minor miracle, I was also doing the SOS Journey, one of Soul Care’s most comprehensive online courses. 

Strengthening Our Souls (SOS) is an 8-week journey designed to help you understand the value of your soul’s health, especially in the context of work or ministry. 

But it’s not just online videos—it’s packed with interactive resources, like the Soul Health Assessment and Soul Care Plan. 

But what made me most excited about the SOS Journey was this:

It included two Spiritual Direction sessions.

Although I didn’t think I needed Spiritual Direction—ever since I’d first heard about it, I’d always wanted it. 

Spiritual Direction is usually a one-hour, set-apart time to slow down, breathe, and get priceless input from someone trained and experienced. It's a non-anxious space where your spiritual director helps you listen to what God is up to in your everyday life. 

What also sets spiritual directors apart is that it's someone completely outside of your work, church, and family context. With no agenda or connection to your current situation, you’re able to receive unbiased and caring direction—from someone whose only job is to help you stay connected to God and what He has for your life. 

So, maybe I did need Spiritual Direction, too. 

After my (third) reminder to book my spiritual direction session, I finally looked through the different spiritual directors available. (Confession—I'm a passionate advocate of soul care, but it's often still a battle for me to make it happen).

So I booked the first session I could find—the next evening. 

I hopped on Zoom... and wondered why meeting a stranger felt so normal. We chatted through introductions and what a normal session would look like. But I was in survival mode. I needed some soul surgery. I was ready to jump in the deep end. 

“What do you need today?” my spiritual director asked. “Do you want to start with a guided reflection? A verse? This is time for you.” 

She read through a guided reflection and asked me one question—then, it all just tumbled out of me. 

How I was the only one doing the work of five people. How I was still coughing (even my mute button couldn't hide that). How I often had amazing times of prayer in the forest near my house—but it did nothing to influence my peace levels once I got to my office. 

“I want to know what matters,” I replied, with tears in my eyes.

“Is it rest? Recovering from my cough? Is it my day job? Or my side job? Is it supporting my friends? I’m fine to focus on any of it… I just want to know what matters to God. But right now I don’t know what does.”

My spiritual director started responding, and honestly, I don’t know what she said.

Because in the middle of the call—two words suddenly came to mind:

"YOU matter." 

The tears ambushed me—I knew the wild whisper of God on a Zoom call when it hit me. I tuned back in to my spiritual director, when out of the blue she asked:

“Have you considered that God might be saying YOU matter?”

I cried all the more.

The next morning, I was sitting in the spring sunshine in the forest near my house. 

I was reflecting on the session, and doodling around some phrases I felt God was saying to me. I felt rested. I felt at peace.

That's when an idea hit me—how to solve a glitch I’d been having in a project at work.

I wondered why I hadn’t thought of it before. It was so simple.

I went back to my journal—and when I got to my office, I discovered, surprise, surprise, it worked. 

But more importantly? Throughout my day, as I balanced my schedule, and chose what to prioritize and what to let go of—I kept hearing:

YOU matter. 

Two months later, I still have my moments where I get overwhelmed. 

If anything, my responsibilities have multiplied—and so have the pressures, the deadlines, and the varying priorities that I have to balance.

But finally, I know I don’t have to face it by myself. 

I have a deeper confidence that I am God's priority, and He's with me through it all. And I've learned that we all need a safe space—leaders and team alike—to process our journey, open up to God’s presence, and remain grounded through the opportunities and challenges we face. 

I discovered spiritual direction is the perfect place for that. 

And now? I don't want to lead without it.

You don't have to wait—start your Spiritual Direction journey today.

Soul Care partners with some of the finest spiritual directors, who are each professionally trained and personally familiar with the unique challenges of life. They are fully aligned with the underlying practices and vision of Soul Care. Through our services, we will match you with a spiritual director that’s right for you.

Kayla Norris
Soul Care Team